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This
section describes some of the theories I have on crossdressing
and transgender issues. While I am by no means a "professional",
I do have a Masters in Biochemistry, practical and classroom experience
in Psychology, and of course, I've been crossdressing since I
was 8. I hope this will be helpful both for crossdressers who
are feeling insecure as well as for those who know crossdressers.
TABLE
OF CONTENTS:
What is Crossdressing?
Why do people Crossdress?
What does Transgender mean?
How do I know if I'm Transgendered?
Why am I Transgendered?
What should I do if I'm Transgendered?
What should I do if my friend or loved one
is Transgendered?
WHAT
IS CROSSDRESSING:
Crossdressing, quite
simply, is the act of wearing clothes that are typically reserved
for the opposite gender. It is most commonly used to refer to
males dressing in female clothing, though technically speaking
it could also refer to females dressing in male clothing. Personally
I find this to be quite a double standard, as a female wearing
male clothing is perfectly acceptable in today's society, though
an argument can be made that the intent is often different. This
site deals primarily with males dressing as females because that's
what I have experience with.
I want to be clear
at this point that crossdressing is not necessarily done for the
purpose of sexual pleasure, it does not make one homosexual, bisexual,
or transexual, and I do not know of anywhere that it is against
the law. Of course I don't necessarily recommend crossdressing
in public without appropriate caution, but it is not illegal.
It is interesting
to note that crossdressing is ENTIRELY a social construction.
Men in the renaissance wore tights. The traditional Scotish kilt
is a skirt. The Greek toga is essentially a dress. Yet today if
a male walked down the street wearing the modern day equivalent
of these garments we would be appaled. Which brings us to our
next topic.
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WHY
DO PEOPLE CROSSDRESS:
Crossdressers
fall into roughly three categories. 1) Those who merely enjoy
the look or feel of womens' clothing. 2) Those who wish they were
female (at least to some extent). 3) Those who are sexually aroused
by the look or feel of womens' clothing. I find that all three
of these designations are true for me, depending on what day you
ask me.
The first
category of crossdressers has nothing at all to do with sex or
sexuality. Anyone can enjoy the look or feel of a particular fabric
or article of clothing. I frequently wear women's socks for the
simple reason that they are softer and stay up better. In the
winter I wear tights to work under my dress pants to keep warm.
At the end of a long day I will come home and put on women's pj's
because they are comfortable and make me feel relaxed. While I'm
sure socially that makes me strange, it certainly says nothing
about my sexuality. Just that I enjoy being comfortable.
The
second category of crossdressers obviously deals with sexuality
but is not related to sexual preference. Please do not confuse
the two - just because a man wishes he were a female, even if
he wishes he were a straight female, does not make him homosexual.
Personally I feel that I would fit into society much better if
I had been born female. And to be honest I firmly believe that
I have more estrogen than testosterone in me (by the way, hormone
levels are heavily influenced by what sex you are but have nothing
to do with determining your sex). I also am fairly certain that
if I HAD been born female, I would be attracted to males. But
as it stands now, I really have no desire for a relationship with
another man. I am definitely bisexual, but when it comes to a
relationship or anything long-term I prefer the company of females.
Other crossdressers may wish they were female, but believe that
they would be lesbian. For a long time I thought this was the
case with me, however, it turned out to be just another social
construction - I was afraid to think that I might like another
man.
The
third category of crossdressers deals strictly with sex. For these
crossdressers, dressing up is really just a role-play. They can
be heterosexual or homosexual (ie their choice in partner doesn't
make a difference here), but for whatever reason they really enjoy
pretending to be female while having sex. Honestly, you have to
admit this is considerably less "wierd" than say autoasphyxiation
or having a rape fantasy. Don't get me wrong though, I can justify
any one of these fantasies based on biochemical responses. Sexual
crossdressing is largely done for the look and feel of female
clothing, just adding to the sensory effect of the act. This is
likely in combination with some desire to play a passive (ie traditionally
female) role in the sex act. As for autoasphyxiation and rape,
both are attempts to simulate a loss of control . . . and wouldn't
you know, sex - and orgasm in particular - is one of the few times
when the human brain looses control of the body and instincts
take over. In the case of orgasm, there is complete loss of concious
muscular control - the body is on autopilot, short-circuting higher
brain function. Thus autoasphyxiation and rape fantasies are both
attempts to prolong the natural loss of control, or at least to
build it up during foreplay.
A sub-category
among sexually-oriented crossdressers are people who try to create
a "perfect woman". I guess this doesn't have to be related
to sex, but I'd be willing to bet it usually is. The role of women
in society has changed dramaticly over the years. From cave-women
(or animals, to go back further) who were likely just objects
for procreation and taking out the basest instincts we have, to
the renaisance or victorian princess who was something to be put
on a pedastool and worshiped, to the modern working woman, roles
have definitely changed. I don't have a problem with this change,
but from time to time it's fun to imagine how life used to be.
Or how I WOULD act if I were female. Or how I WISH my significant
other behaved on a daily basis. It's a fantasy, just like any
other. I could go on, but I think it's time for our next topic.
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WHAT
DOES TRANSGENDER MEAN:
Being
transgendered and crossdressing are often related, but are by
no means the same thing. People who are transgendered either feel
that they should be the opposite gender, or through surgery or
nature have anatomical parts belonging to the opposite gender.
And yes, this can happen through nature believe it or not. When
a sperm or egg's chromosomes split incorrectly during formation,
a fetus can be created which has traits of both genders. This
is a seriously debilitating medical condition and I will not be
dealing with this topic here. Nature can also create transgendered
individuals, however, when certain gender-determining genes get
activated incorrectly in the womb. These individuals are obviously
of one gender or the other based on their chromosomal make-up
(the "true" determinate of gender), but can have certain
features of the opposite gender. It is actually surprisingly common.
Hospitals at birth assign these individuals a gender (traditionally
based on which gender traits are most prominent, prior to modern
understanding of chromosomes and developmental biology), and most
of these people never know what happened. Sometimes, however,
it becomes obvious that the chromosomally wrong gender was assigned.
Very
less severe than the above cases are individuals like myself who
feel that they fit in better with the opposite gender. This can
either be psychological or physiological. Just as early (developmental)
gender-determining genes can be incorrectly activated, later gender-affecting
genes that determine pubescent and adult hormone balances can
also suffer the same problem. The cause can be either genetic
or environmental. It is more or less impossible to determine the
true basis (psychological or physiological) for these types of
transgendered individuals, assuming there is not an extreme hormonal
imbalance. Such hormonal imbalances result in numerous medical
complications far beyond feeling sexually and socially insecure,
so please consult your doctor if you suspect a serious condition.
Transgendered
people span a wide range of, well . . . embodiments. I am certain
most transgendered people actually lead normal lives as either
males or females never knowing the difference. For those of us
who are concious of our state, we can also lead normal lives as
males or females. And yes, normal includes both heterosexual and
homosexual, it really doesn't matter. Leading a completely non-transgendered
life can be incredibly stressful on an individual who is aware
of the fact though. Most of us who are aware at the very least
crossdress or role-play from time to time, or possibly frequently.
Those
who wish to join the opposite gender as a full time lifestyle
typically are refered to as tranSEXUAL in addition to transgendered.
Transexuals need not have any type of operation or physical change
to their body, it merely reflects the fact that they live their
lives as a member of the opposite genderx. Many transexuals opt
to have physical changes made to their bodies so that they fit
in better. The most obvious change is complete gender reassignment
surgery. While quite expensive, gender reassignment has advanced
immensly in recent years, and post-operative transexuals are indistinguishable
from normal members of the opposite gender. This operation does
not come without a cost, however. As a result of the procedure,
post-operative transexuals are no longer able to experience the
physiological aspects of sex and orgasm. Some advances are actually
being made here, but generally speaking the genitals are largely
non-functional. This is why some transexuals opt to have only
the more superficial surgeries done - breast implants, hair removal,
facial plastic surgery, etc. This leaves the genitals intact and
functional, though obviously could compromise one's sex life in
other ways.
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HOW
DO I KNOW IF I'M TRANSGENDERED:
To be
honest there is no test. Well, assuming you were assigned the
correct gender at birth. If you are truely concerned that you
were assigned the incorrect gender, talk to your doctor as there
is a very simple way to determine this from a blood test. I will
tell you upfront that it is rather unlikely though.
So, that
case aside, if you are currently wondering if you are transgendered,
you probably are. Please, don't freak out and go do something
crazy. Read on.
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WHY
AM I TRANSGENDERED:
Gender
as we understand it in a societal context is a continum. Most
people are obviously either male or female based on their chromosomes
and their anatomy, but beyond this gender is very vague. The chemicals
(hormones) that make females act, think, and interact like females
are also present in males (at lower concentration usually). The
chemicals that make males act, think, and interact like males
are also present in females. The social understanding of what
creates gender on the surface is entirely based on the ratio of
"male chemicals" to "female chemicals". It
is entirely possible, and actually quite common, for a member
of one gender from an anatomical standpoint to have a biochemical
balance closer to the opposite gender.
Anyone
with a biochemical balance less than "100%" male or
female is thus transgendered. In fact, an arguement could be made
that EVERYONE is transgendered since everyone requires some amount
of the opposite gender's chemicals to survive. For social purposes,
anyone who feels that they relate more to the opposite gender
or maybe feels uncomfortable with peers of their own gender is
transgendered to some degree.
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WHAT
SHOULD I DO IF I'M TRANSGENDERED:
Being
transgendered does not mean you have to get a sex change, and
it does not even mean you should start crossdressing or experimenting.
It means you should recognize that there are aspects of the opposite
gender in you, and you should do whatever feels right (even if
that's nothing) with those aspects. It also means you should respect
those of us who choose to take action on our transgendered aspects
in whatever degree we feel is right.
There
are both many degrees of transgenderism as well as many embodiments.
For you it may mean that you no longer feel obligated to watch
football because the other guys do. Or it may be that you want
to try out crossdressing discretely in the privacy of your own
home. Maybe you want to try an amateur crossdressing night at
a club. Or maybe you really feel that you should be a member of
the opposite gender and begin living your life as a female. Maybe
you eventually have gender reassignment surgery, maybe you don't.
Any of the above can lead to a thouroughly fulfilling life as
long it's what you really want.
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WHAT
SHOULD I DO IF MY FRIEND OR LOVED ONE IS TRANSGENDERED:
As mentioned
above, PLEASE be supportive and understanding. It is not easy
for anyone to admit that they are transgendered to themselves,
let alone tell someone else. Remember that most if not all of
the human population is transgendered to some degree even if most
people feel reasonably comfortable with their anatomical gender.
There is nothing wrong with a transgendered person, and it cannot
be fixed (nor should it be!).
Most
transgendered people will be happy continuing to spend most of
their time playing the role of their anatomical gender. If you
are in a trusting relationship with a transgendered person, letting
them borrow your clothes or going shopping with them can help
them make a huge step in discovering who they really are. They
may find that they enjoy crossdressing, and you might be surprised
and enjoy it as well. Or they might be greatful for the opportunity,
but decide crossdressing is not for them. In any event the odds
are that normal life will continue as usual.
If you
do find yourself dealing with someone who is serious about making
a life change, PLEASE be supportive and understanding. From personal
experience, the most important thing in the world to a transgendered
person is knowing that their friends and loved ones will remain
their friends and loved ones no matter what choice they make.
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