Resources - My Story

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I am a 27 year old guy living a normal life. I have a Masters degree in Biochemistry, and I work for a Fortune 500 company in the US Midwest doing research. I have two cats, a turtle, and five fish, am currently single, and I enjoy crossdressing in my spare time. Here is my story:

First, some quick facts about me : )

I have been crossdressing for 19 years.

Pantyhose, socks, and shoes are my favorite clothes.

I am 5'8", 135 lbs.

I wear about a size 7 (juniors), and a size 9 shoe (womans).

My measurements are (approximately) 34D,32,32.

My favorite sport is hockey (I play roller-hockey and broomball, about as close as I can get)

My favorite drink is single malt scotch. I also love good wine, and really most other drinks as long as they are mid to top shelf : ) I hate cheap beer! But a pint of Smithwicks? Mmmm.

I discovered crossdressing quite by accident when I was young. I had recently learned to masturbate by rubbing myself against various cloths - towels, my sheets, etc (also by accident). Instinctively I thought about girls from school that I liked while doing so. I don't really know why, because I didn't know how sex worked at the time. Like I said, it was instinct. Of course this got me wondering what it would be like to rub myself against girl clothes. So the next time I had a chance, I rumaged through my mom's and sister's closets and drawers until I found something that felt nice. It turns out the softest and most distinctly feminine (ie the fabric does not exist in male clothing) articles I found were pantyhose.

Well eventually I started wondering what else pantyhose were good for, and I tried a pair on. Wow, did that feel nice. I liked it so much I started putting on as many pairs as I could. Whenever I was home alone I would make a list of my favorite pairs and what order I should put them on in, then I would dress up and wear them around until someone came home. One thing lead to another, and I started trying on other clothes of my mom's and sister's. Eventually I would wear full outfits, though the pantyhose were always my favorite part. Not to mention they were the easiest thing to hide too!

When I started driving, I made a habit of stopping at K-Mart on the way home and buying a pair of pantyhose from time to time. It was really tough walking in to the store and picking them up. I was actually so scared the first few times that I stole them instead of buying them. Which is another story altogether. I eventually gathered a fair collection, which I hid in the back of one of my desk drawers.

I also experimented with tampons, which I don't recommend on any sort of regular basis now that I know better. They can dry you out and make things terribly uncomfortable as well as cause scratches and scrapes than can lead to infections, etc . . . but before I knew better, it seemed to make sense. Anyway, if you try it, just be careful.

At some point, I just couldn't wait long enough to be home alone, so I'd sneak a pair of pantyhose or two into the bathroom when I'd shower and wear them in the shower. I bet you can't tell why I now love pantyhose and wearing them in the water in particular . . . Again the pantyhose were amazingly convenient because I could string them up underneath my bed and they would dry pretty quickly.

Of course, nobody hides such a big secret in his parent's house without getting caught eventually. I was actually caught several times. My parents were not supportive or understanding in the least . . . in fact they tried to put me in therapy for it. Among other things it lead to me leaving my parent's house and not speaking to them for five years . . . so PLEASE if you know a crossdresser don't try to put them in therapy : )

I'll skip ahead to college at this point, as it's the next significant event in my crossdressing. Interestingly the next time I crossdressed was for a roomate's sociology project in which I went to Bob Evans in a dress and he recorded peoples' reactions. While none of my friends at the time knew how much I enjoyed crossdressing, and I certainly did not let on that I was enjoying it, I couldn't help but get excited when everyone told me I looked better in the dress than the girl whom we borrowed it from. I had a few other experiences like this, such as the Rocky Horror Picture Show, but nothing of real significance.

The next important development was when I moved in with my then girlfriend (later to become my fiancee, and now my ex). We have a very open sexual relationship, and it was not long before I told her that I enjoyed dressing up in womens' clothing. She was exceptionally supportive of me, and offered up her entire wardrobe. Then one night, with both of us slightly drunk, she got out the digital camera while I dressed up. It was just play at first, pretending to be a model and photographer. I started changing outfits, doing different "sets". We ended up spending the entire night taking photos, and by morning I had quite a collection.

I asked if I could post the photos on a Yahoo group, just to see how people reacted to them. I was encouraged when membership took off, and one "fan" started emailing me. Jade Sky (my photographer/ex's "pen" name) and I started doing regular sets. Each time, I would go a little bit further towards being a girl. I started painting my nails and doing my makeup for sets. After awhile I started shaving my legs, which eventually led to shaving my entire body.

At this point, I suspected that I might have enough of a membership to start a pay site. I I had worn every single outfit that Jade owned, and as a poor college student could not afford to support my "habbit". For a long time this site barely paid for itself. It was more a labor of love so to speak. New outfits were few and far between, and usually came out of my own pocket when I could afford them. The site certainly did not cover studio equipment (which at this point only consists of a new camera, a poor quality light, and some extra sheets for backdrops). But I have made due with things that were in my budget, and the site has been incredibly rewarding.

I had always intended to create a "resources" section for my site, but it's been difficult to find time. This area is important to me, however, even if only one person ever finds it useful. I know how hard it was to start crossdressing, and how many times I questioned if what I was doing was right or ok. I was right, and I am ok. I wish someone had told me that earlier.

As for my friends and family, my closest friends all know about the site. And of course my ex knows. The rest of my family? Who knows, but I hope not : )